Monday, November 8, 2010

Fried Butter

Ahh butter, one of the most ubiquitous foods in all of cooking! Nearly anything, both savory and sweet can be enhanced once this delicious dairy product is added in. So here's a question not many people know the answer too: what exactly is butter? Most of us have heard the butter churner, where a saintly pilgrim wife will sit at the churning thingy and crank away till a perfect little bar of butter pops out! This process separates the milk fat from milk itself and creates butter, skim milk, and buttermilk. Butter is actually around 85% milk fat! That's right, so if you think your being so good when you put non-fat milk in your morning coffee and butter your toast with enough churned fat to sink a canoe, your actually just replacing all that milk fat you saved in the coffee! Great job Einstein!

So there folks you have one of the first educational sections of preposterous food, unless you count our recipes as educational. We don't.

Truly, is there any greater sight than butter Ben Franklin?

"But Nolan and Adam," you might be saying "why are glorious chefs such as yourselves concerned about such a commonplace food? Butter isn't preposterous?" Well, butter as a singular item isn't preposterous but when you roll it in flour, deep fry it, sprinkle sugar over it, and serve it as a desert, it teeters somewhere between preposterous food and affront to humanity. And that's what we're exploring today, the crusty golden goodness that is deep fried butter!

Yes my dear reader, deep fried butter, quite possibly one of the greatest applications of butter since the ingenious butter stick applicator.

One of the milestones in mankind's inventiveness!
Really it's amazing this food hasn't hit the semi-mainstream market sooner, it's the logical progression of America's degenerating sense of taste and health awareness, and it's magnificent! The simplicity of little butter balls rolled in flour or dough and fried in oil till they create a "crunchy on the outside, abominable on the inside" glob of cholesterol and fat is really quite beautiful! Until you actually see what the finished product looks like, that part is a bit disenchanting.

Butter balls or turds? You decide!
And you can only imagine our joy when we found out that there is a recipe for there little lumps of artery clogging joy online, and it's by Paula Deen! Yes, Paula Deen, the creator of deep fried cheesecake, deep fried macaroni and cheese, and deep fried stuffing on a stick! We consider Paula Deen to be one of the patron saints of Just Preposterous Food, and whenever we make a preposterous dish we set aside a portion as an offering to the preposterous food gods, namely Paula Deen, Colonel Sanders, and Bacon Hitler! Of course, since this recipe requires no bacon, we risk the anger of Bacon Hitler!

Bacon Hitler disapproves of your non-bacon travesty!

And so we end this section of preposterous food, secure in the knowledge that we have made you smarter and more productive members of society. With your new found appreciation of butter and it's less orthodox uses, we're sure you'll live a much richer, though shorter, life! Now we need to go prepare for our own version of fried butter, which may collapse the universe with it's awesomeness! Get ready: We want to take the whole eight tablespoons of churned fat..... deep fry it.... and put it on A STICK!!!!

Oh rapture!

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